My husband started sending me pictures of puppies from adoption websites a couple of months ago. I ignored them at first, but then he asked me if I got his messages. I know about puppies. They pee on EVERYTHING and chew on things. They need training and constant attention. They are baby dogs, you know. We have a dog already. She was my first baby, my little Vannah girl. She is a mini Dachshund, and she is 14 years old. And I am pretty sure she also was against a puppy.
I said "NO" more ways than I can count to a puppy. I had all of the good reasons! The baby, the pee, the walking it constantly, the making a mess of the yard, the extra expense, the COMMITMENT. What if we got a puppy and it wasn't a good one? What if it has health problems and needs expensive surgeries? What if it has a bad attitude it can't be trained out of and it hurts someone? What would we do???
So we went to Halcyon to browse the Farmers' Market. Our first stop was the Fur Kids tent (insert eyeroll here). "Soak them all up", I said. "We don't need a puppy." Now, I am a baby person. Obviously, given my line of work. All babies are cute. I love them all, I want to snuggle them and look at their little hands and feet and marvel at their eyes and hair, or lack of hair.... I love babies. Puppies, though? Nah. I don't think they're all cute, and I will discriminate against certain breeds all day long. And then I saw him. He was tall and dark and quite obviously a massive puppy hound dog. And he was actively being claimed by a man. And just then my heart grew 3 sizes, very grinch style. I wanted that puppy.
I watched the website and considered the facts, and considered the ache in my heart and my impending poor judgement.I did not tell my husband. I thought about all of the work I would have to do and all of the money I would spend.I said nothing. And when the puppy disappeared from the website I felt sad.
So sad, I was in fact, that I started a search for a new puppy! I ended up at the Humane Society website. I browsed and was not impressed. As I said, I don't think all puppies are cute. Personally I am unwilling to take on a breed that might be characterized as aggressive by nature, and a small dog that is not a Dachshund didn't appeal to me. I did consider another little long dog, but my son has always wanted a dog to play catch with.... and there she was. At the end of the page. Not an adult dog which would be a far more reasonable choice. But a puppy. 8 weeks old, and mostly ears. I filled out the application, while talking to myself OUT LOUD, saying "there is no way we are getting this puppy". I interrupted myself long enough to make the phone call to agency, just before the close of business. She said I was third in line, and very basically and kindly agreed with me "you are not getting this puppy". So over dinner I told the family, that I was eyeing a puppy and I watched my husband's face change lol. Because I told him no SO. MANY. TIMES. And then the phone rang.
When we met Bunny her name was Lilly Rose. And she was perfect. I mean, she was awful and adorable. Not house trained (obviously because she was 8 weeks old), biting anything that fit in her mouth, and she accidentally terrorized the baby. And we loved her. So here we are, buying stock in paper towels, and washing the dog towels slightly more frequently than we were before her, but I'm doing it with a happy heart. Our little Bunny Rose is smart and a fast learner. She is sweet and craves our attention (and treats) and it wasn't hard to commit to her. And only once have a thought "WHAT HAVE I DONE", which seems fair based on the puddle of urine before me at the time.
I have always had a fear of commitment. I don't know where it came from. But maybe it's something I am getting over, or getting through. I wish all the decisions I have to make were so easy. And I wish they all felt this good afterward. As a business woman, merely starting this business of my own was an overwhelming commitment, and one that I love now. And the choices I have to make regularly define my lifestyle and set me up for certain success or failure, it seems. On one hand, that final click on "purchase" or signing on the dotted line could give me everything I have been working to achieve. And on the other, it could compromise everything I have worked so hard for already.
And I will consider all of these things as I walk Bunny around the block for the 10th time this morning.
Love to my friends,